Search - :: The Schulmädchen Report

The CD That Makes Your Clothes Disappear!

Vernacular | Los Angeles | 05/12/2004

(5 out of 5 stars)

"If there ever was a CD I could use to judge the extent to which a person enjoys life, it's "The Schulmadchen Report." Mr. Wilden perfects what I warmly refer to as Romp Rock, pornographic music with a slick style and a sense of humor. I firmly believe that anyone who doesn't tap their foot to this is at least partly dead inside, and anyone not turned on a little is way past their sexual prime.Sure, Wilden and his orchestra do lift their hick-pop sensibilities and fuzzed-out production from other artists (the opening "Title Theme" is a clear nod to Canned Heat's "On the Road Again"; the guitar production of "Dirty Beat" a possible tribute to the Beatles' "Taxman" and a slew of 60's "Nuggets"-worthy garage acts), but the best records are usually a testiment to the varied and tasteful listening scope of its creator. Here, German-born Wilden weaves in equal parts Mancini and "Lady Chatterly's Lover," a weekend couple getaway gone very, very blue.Wilden's other work in the soundtrack genre, most notably gathered in the crime story backdrop "I Told You Not to Cry," is more than worth bending an ear for, but if you're looking to swell your libido and magically unhook the bra of your significant (or insignificant) other, "The Schulmadchen Report" is a must for anyone with a truly musical, if not dirty, beat in their hearts. And the pictures ain't too bad, either."

Not Very Sexy and Sadly, Not Very Much Fun

KC | Northern CA | 02/03/2006

(2 out of 5 stars)

"Gert Wilden is a professional compser for films and if that sounds like faint praise, it is.



His music is solid and professional but beyond that, there's not much more to it.



Yes, the cover is great and as un-PC as it is, a return to the un-PC covers of the 1960's would be welcomed :-) and yes, the tracks sound sexy but they're mostly brassy non-descript jazz rock/jazz fusion tracks. I would recommend this CD is that's what you're looking for and the CD were a budget line CD - but as it stands now, just be warned that the sexiest thing about his music is the CD cover and the track names.



The main problem with the tracks is that they're not much fun. The appeal of the 1960's softcore/sex comedies are their earnestness, amateurness, wackiness and generally cluelessness about the man-woman thing. The music should match that endveavor by being just as over-the-top but couched in that 1960's "innocence." (like Serge Gainsbourg)



However, these are non-descript tracks that NOT only NOT convey that - they in fact convey almost nothing.



If you like jazzy rock fusion of the late 1960's/early 1970's - there are literally hundreds of CD/LP's still in print to choose from created by real musicians that convey all the intentions of Gert but that he could not actually conjure up.



Several of the tracks veer into garage rock territory - again, if you want that, there are thousands of CD's covering that ground with much more spirit and interest.



If you're a scholar or a budding musician interested in studying these in a scholarly manner, this CD will serve your purpose. If you're a completist, of course, you'll want this but other than the cover, there's not much to recommend a CD full of random non descript jazz rock fusion/garage rock tracks ..."