Search - Mike Macharyas :: Mariah Carey

Mike Macharyas ain't about following the rules bitches. Now you're probably saying, "They were real the day I wore that vest!" THAT VEST WAS DISGUSTING, OK? Mike Macharyas ain't gonna let some short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky mother hubbard soft soap him with just a pocketful of hope. Mike Macharyas is sick and tired of hearing things from uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics. It's like I tell y'all what's on these albums, and then you still bitch when he delivers the goods, EXACTLY like I described. I killed Liz, I killed the teen dream! Deal with it! Anyways, listen to Macharyas yell at Wilmer Valderrama for breaking Lindsay's heart. Listen to him desperately trying to find a helpless Katie Holmes. Bob your head to the funky beats as he seeks Kanye West's help, dangerously hanging from a cliff!!! I swear, these albums are getting better and better. Your ass can actually fucking sing along! If you don't believe me, put on "Johnny Knoxville." Just TRY to get that outta your head. Mike Macharyas drilled your asshole with his previous albums. And the son-of-a-bitch didn't even use lube. He didn't call you the next day either. And yet you still think about him in your silly high-school fantasies. You dumb slut, I tell ya. Add it to your Macharyas collection. You won't be disappointed. I'm actually being serious here.