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Achtung! Achtung! Der GENIUS of Herr Hasselhoff!!

Charles Henry Higgensworth III | Boston, Massachusetts | 12/31/2002

(5 out of 5 stars)

"Economic nationalists throughout the country shuddered when the Commerce Department announced a Q3 trade imbalance comfortably exceeding $100 billion, the highest on record. We buy our electronics from Japan, our confections from France, and our oil from the Persian Gulf. So why must we import the cream of our own culture from abroad? We don't store the Constitution in Germany. We don't launch the Space Shuttle from China. So why must we buy our Hasselhoff from distant foreign lands? Demand for this benchmark piece of Americana will surely send the trade economy reeling even closer to the abyss. Its pending stupefying popularity notwithstanding, this is not an album without flaws, as flaws are inevitable when one takes on the impossible task of distilling Hasselhoff to a single disk. This is, after all, akin to reducing Aristotle to a lone pamphlet - nay, a matchbook cover. Because while this CD does include every Hasselhoff song that topped the charts in ninety countries or more, it was really the deep album work that made Hasselhoff synonymous with underground edge, incendiary lyrics, and youthful angst the world over. The poets who found their calling in the deeply nuanced lyrics of 1984's "Night Rocker" will be crestfallen to see that album underrepresented beyond its touchstone hits. Jungle-based rebels from Columbia to Burma who viewed 1989's "Looking for Freedom" as a clarion call to arms will be outraged that the entire second side of that inflammatory album is absent (with the inevitable exception of "Flying on the Wings of Tenderness"). And lovers who exchanged their lifetime vows to the ballads of "Crazy For You" will be devastated to see that only two of them are included here (even "I Wanna Move to the Beat of Your Heart" is inexplicably omitted!). However, the wounds gouged into our souls by these countless omissions are salved by the sweet succor of the eighteen songs that are included. All told, despite the travesties that come from reducing Hasselfhoff to a single disc, this is clearly one of the finest works in the entire oeuvre of human expression."

A little something for everyone on this disc!

Segway Vagynna | aboard Count Dooku's solar sail | 11/22/2002

(5 out of 5 stars)

"There is little doubt now that David Husselshaft is a major force in the music business these days. I've already been a fan for many years, but an amazing thing happened recently which I have to share. The doctor said my dog Cherish had only days to live. Desperate for any sign of recovery, I played this CD in the garage for him 24/7, and not only did my dog die, but so did 2 cats and all of my plants. My neighbor came down with a rare form of stomach virus, the one causes massive cramping and explosive diarrhea. Boy did I prove that doctor wrong!The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good."

The very epitome of musical godliness.

Charles Henry Higgensworth III | 06/20/2001

(5 out of 5 stars)

"Twice the ruggedness of mortal man, ten times the talent of any other artist, Hasselhoff dazzles on this CD. Every track has been plucked from the heavens and trembles with vigor and force. God Himself could not record as good a greatest hits album like this, and if He were to listen to all 17 tracks on this compilation, He would refrain from striking me down for blasphemy. The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good."