Search - Coolio :: Very Best

I'm really confused

Rich King's Breakfast Nook | East Gretna, NE | 05/05/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I am a huge Coolio fan as most suburban white guys in their 30s are so when Kiteman told me Coolio had a best of floating around out there I ran to my local record store. Well, it's an import and cost only 40 some dollars. Seems high, but c'mon now Topper it's Coolio. So I pick it up because it has 4 coolios on the cover. It's not 8 Hasslehoffs, but what is? So I'm bumpin my Kraco on the way home and I pop this baby in. I had no idea what was going on. Where was fantastic voyage? Where was Gangsters Paradise? This stuff didn't even sound like rap to me, but it had Coolio's picture on it. It sounded more like what would happen if I farted while sitting on a metal table if you threw in some bad guitar playing and a drummer who was banging on garbage cans. I always fall for this because though really hot with a big johnson, I'm pretty stupid. I bought a best of by ABC and it was the wrong group. I bought the best of Christopher Cross and it didn't even have Jump on it. Chris Cross without Jump? That's like eating uncle bens rice with someone else's uncle. So I've been duped again like the time when Kroll told me that Godfathers pizza would give you a free pizza if you stood on their counter, pulled your pants down and peed on the other people in line. Not only did I not get a free pizza, I got the poo beat out of me and banned from the restaurant. Good thing I'm hot."